So much advice nowadays is focused on blockers, removing triggers, and accountability buddies. The principles underlying such approaches are based in helplessness. The idea is "you can't be in control of yourself".

Yesterday, one of our clients (Joe) came over to Manchester to record a podcast with me and do some filming for his next documentary video...

Before meeting Mari Paulus and being taught the Beyond Compulsion method, I had learned about Internal Family Systems (IFS), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT), Meditation, Cold Water Immersion, Nutrition, Exercise, Stoicism, Journaling, and so much more...

You don't build self-trust through running away from problems. When you have a porn addiction, your problem is that there is a part of your mind trying to get you to watch porn.

Most people who attempt to stop watching porn have moments where they are full of motivation...

When you are addicted to porn - you want to watch porn. This is because you have watched porn in the past and your neural pathways have changed.

Yesterday, one of our BCA clients shared a short analysis of a YouTube video that claimed to help people "NEVER RELAPSE AGAIN". I commented on his post and he replied sharing how he now knows "it was the method and not us that was the problem."

One of the best benefits of dealing with the addicted part of the mind (APOTM) directly is that you no longer feel like you have to distract yourself any longer.

The APOTM will try and confuse you and make things way more complicated than necessary. The APOTM uses this as a strategy to make you go "to hell with it" and relapse in moments of compulsive desire.

Most people feel terrible about stopping their compulsive behaviours. They feel like it is something they have to do and like they are giving something up. They try for a little while and then feel so bad about it that they eventually relapse...

Streak after streak, I'd always relapse. I was stuck in a cycle of failing to stop watching porn for 10 years. And during that time, I felt like I had tried everything to stop.

When you are experiencing strong desires it can feel like it will last forever. You feel like it is going to get stronger and stronger until you give in to it. But, this is just the addicted part of the mind (APOTM) doing it's job.

I used to tell myself that my relapses were caused by a trigger. But nowadays I can see clearly how based in helplessness this idea is...

For years I was stuck in a constant conflict without understanding what was going on. I felt like there were these different sides to me and it was very frustrating. I felt a lot of shame. I hid a side of myself which I feared people would judge.

When I was in a porn addiction, I often felt like porn was this amazing thing. I put it on a pedestal. But, nowadays I can see things more clearly and understand that the glamourising came from the addicted part of the mind (APOTM).

Have you ever had a dream that you relapsed? You are asleep but dreaming of the stuff you used to look at. This is common amongst Beyond Compulsion Academy members...

Back in my porn addiction days, I'd go on streak after streak. At times, I even felt like I was making progress as I occasionally went on a longer streak. But, without me realising it, my life was getting worse.

Having stopped volunteering at the Samaritans to prioritise the Beyond Compulsion Academy, I've definitely changed my perspective on a lot of mental health "support".

Yesterday, a client inside of the Beyond Compulsion Academy shared how his mindset towards dealing with urges has changed...

Most people focus on "giving up" their compulsive behaviours. They feel like they are doing something which is going to be really tough and uncomfortable. And yes, overcoming a compulsive behaviour is hard. There is no doubt about it. However, we can frame things in a way which makes it feel better.